Being a parent without some family routines, the day-to-day chaos can feel like you’re in that one carnival ride that goes around and around until you feel disoriented and puke up your guts. Maybe you feel like I have felt.. the house is a mess, you don’t know where to start, there is no consistency and I feel SOOOO overhwhelmed.
As a mom building a business, trying to be a 5 star homemaker and parenting the craziest little boy I know how you feel, but I have a solution.
It’s a routine.
Just a simple rhythm that repeats day to day so you and your kids can find some call throughout the day. It’s not complicated non is it an exact formula that I’ll claim is “perfect for any family” but it’s simple and made by you. A routine doesn’t take up time, it makes more time for the things that matter in a home like health, connection, and love.
- Why Family Routines Matter More Than Most Parents Realize
- Morning and Evening Routines: The Two Anchors Every Family Needs
- The Evening Routine: The Anchor That Makes Mornings Possible
- The Morning Routine: Setting the Tone for the Entire Day
- What Makes Family Routines Sustainable Instead of Stressful
- Habit Stacking — The Easiest Way to Build Family Routines That Stick
- Tips From a Mom Running a Home and a Business
- Your Next Step: Build One Simple Family Routine Today
- FAQ
- 1. What does a realistic family evening routine look like (not the Instagram version)?
- 2. How do you start a routine when your evenings already feel chaotic?
- 3. How do you build a morning routine when everyone is tired and rushing?
- 4. What do you do when kids fight the bedtime routine every night?
- 5. What’s the best way to keep routines going on overstimulated or unpredictable days?
- 6. What should I start with if everything feels overwhelming?
Why Family Routines Matter More Than Most Parents Realize
Predictability Reduces Emotional Chaos
Family routines are great for the parents but the kids also benefit a TON. The University of Connecticut provided some research that shows how kids can develop deeper emotional relationships with care givers and further develop the parts of their brain that handle emotional regulation when they have a predictable environment.
This means less tantrums, fewer fights and more calmness throughout the day, week and months. Kids feel more secure and peaceful with routines. They need them just as much as mom or dad does.
So family routines aren’t just about keeping schedules or being more productive, they are apart of building strong emotionally regulated kids and a strong home where calm feelings are the driver.
Family Routines Unify Families and Set Expectations
Family routines that reduce chaos also reduce decision fatigue for mom and kiddos. You know what’s happening when.
This really does create security for even the youngest child. It also sets expectations for children young and old. They know they’ll be going down for a nap, they foresee picking up toys, and they know that family dinner is a priority.
This predictability helps your family work like a real family unit. “In times past, one of the great influences that unified families was the experience of struggling together in pursuit of a common goal—such as taming the wilderness or earning a living. The family was an organized and conducted unit of economic production. Today, most families are units of economic consumption, which do not require a high degree of family organization and cooperation.” (Oaks, 2025).
We have to work really hard in today’s culture and society to work as a unit, rather than separate planets that distantly orbit each other and occasionally align.
Family routines are a simple way to build a strong family that overcomes cultures and is an anchor for our children day to day and throughout life.
Routines Become the Foundation of Family Culture
Over time your routines will turn into traditions and that will create a stronger family and individual identity.
I see so much confusion in the world with adolescents trying to “find themselves”, when the family is a place where they can remember is exactly who they are.
As a mother I love knowing the flow of our day and having the opportunity to make micro traditions with my toddler. Special breakfasts, call dad during lunch, park days, bath time etc.. are all micro traditions that I will hold dear and remember forever.
Morning and Evening Routines: The Two Anchors Every Family Needs
Why You Only Need Two Strong Rhythms
Let me just say this outloud, routines can be stabilizing and they can be boring. Being a stay at home mom can get BORING sometimes BECAUSE of the routine of it EVERYDAY.
There is no all day schedule required. I add variety and surprise myself even some days so that we can enjoy our lives.
Routines shouldn’t create robots and rigidity, just anchor points of calmness and security.
I find that a structured morning and bedtime routine work best for our family to provide stability but also allow for flexibility and variety day to day.
That might be different for you, you may need an after school routine, morning and night. Whatever parts of the day have most chaos and you’d like an anchor there, that’s where a routine should form.
How Family Routines Support Nourishment
Our health/nutrition drives our day to day life. If we are feeling good enough to accomplish the tasks ahead, if we have enough energy to keep up with the kids, if we avoid hanger episodes in the grocery store and all in all keeping our sanity.
Meals and snacks are going to be big parts of your family routines, whether they fuel it or are a part of it. Meal planning can be apart of that calm driving routine. I have a whole guide on how to plan a weeks worth of meals in 30 minutes to check out if that’s something that your family needs!
The Evening Routine: The Anchor That Makes Mornings Possible
Why Evenings Matter
As a parent you know sleep and quite time and commodities. Unfortunately they are also necessities. We have to max out every opportunity we have to get some sleep and some down time.
The best way to do both is to have a solid evening family routines.
For my family the evening routine starts when dad comes home from work. We play, relax and prepare for the next day so we can have a minimally hectic morning.
My son goes godzilla mode at 6pm which means we are in survival mode till he is asleep every night. Our routine helps us stay sane and mange the fatigue of the day for us and godzilla.
The 6-Step Simple Evening Routine (Sustainable + Realistic))
Evenings don’t have to feel like the hunger games. A simple evening routine that follows your family’s natural flow—from dinner → bath → connection → sleep—gives security, calm, and smoother mornings.
Here’s the a realistic rhythm that is modeled after ours that your family can adopt and tweak.
1. After-Dinner Reset (10 Minutes of Teamwork)
The moment dinner ends, the evening routine begins.
Everyone helps with a fast reset:
- Clear the table
- Quick counter wipe
- Toss toys into bins
- Restore the living room to “calm mode”
This is your transition point out of daytime chaos and into evening rhythm.
2. Kitchen Closeout
This step protects tomorrow’s energy.
A kitchen closeout might look like:
- Load the dishwasher or wash key dishes
- Wipe down counters
- Clear hotspots
- Prep coffee/tea
- Put away any stray items
It doesn’t need to be perfect—just closed. I’ll be honest, most nights dishes don’t get done, that’s more morning routine for my family. For me if the counters are clean it makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside so that’s what I focus on.
3. Tomorrow Prep (The 5-Minute Morning Saver)
A simple evening routine should always include a few “future-you” tasks:
- Fill water bottles
- Prep allergy-safe GF snacks and meals
- Pull out clothes for kids + yourself
- Set backpacks, jackets, shoes by the door
- Glance at tomorrow’s plans (school, activities, meals)
These tiny actions reduce the morning load by half.
4. Bath Time + Sensory Downshift
Bath time is the perfect bridge between activity and calm.
Use it as a sensory reset:
- Warm water
- Soft lighting
- Low voices
- No rushing
After bath, switch to a gentler energy: lotion, pajamas, brushing teeth, and lights dimmed throughout the house.
This combo lowers stimulation and signals the brain that bedtime is coming.
5. Connection Block (The Heart of the Night)
Once kids are clean, cozy, and calm, you move into connection.
This doesn’t have to be long—5–10 minutes is enough:
- One book together
- Gratitude moment
- Prayer
- Quiet talk about the day
- A silly story if everyone is tired and wiggly
Kids remember this part of the day, it becomes one of those micro traditions. It’s a time where we all decompress from the world and focus on what really matters.
6. Bedtime Flow:
This last step is predictable and consistent—exactly what kids thrive on.
The flow could include:
- Final bathroom trip
- Hugs and kisses
- Breastfeeding
- Lights out
Even if the evening wasn’t perfect (because… toddlers), this structure helps everyone settle. It’s repeatable and that’s what matters.
Real-Life Example From My Home
Every family routine looks a little different — and ours is far from perfect — but this is the rhythm that keeps our evenings calmer and helps us survive and sometimes thrive. It’s flexible, realistic, and built around connection, nourishment, and simplicity.
Here’s what a real night looks like in our home:
1. Dinner Time
We start our evening routine as soon as dinner hits the table.
We keep it intentionally simple:
- No screens so we can all slow down
- We talk about our day
- We let our son wiggle, laugh, and be his full self at the table
This is the grounding moment that shifts us out of the rush of the day.
2. Kitchen Closeout
Right after dinner, we move into a quick kitchen closeout—nothing fancy:
- Clean off counters
- Wipe down surfaces
- Wash the big items so they’re not staring at us tomorrow
- Unload the dishwasher if it’s full
This step alone is one of my strongest healthy evening habits, because it keeps our morning from feeling stressful. Plus it’s sustainable and i don’t push myself to have a clean sink or picture perfect kitchen.
3. Family Walk
We almost always head outside after dinner.
This is our version of decompression:
- A chance to get fresh air
- Exercise as a family
- Talk about our day
- Let our son run, explore, and “reset”
It’s one of the sweetest parts of our routine.
4. Clean-Up + Restore Order
When we come home, we do a super quick reset:
- Pick up toys
- Put pillows + blankets back
- Clear the floors
- Restore the living room to “peace mode”
Just a simple tidy up to keep up consistency in my home and stay on top of chores and messes.
5. Morning Prep
This part of the routine saves us every single morning:
- Pack lunches
- Refill water bottles
- Prep allergy-safe snacks
- Get the diaper bag ready
- Look over tomorrow’s plan together
Five minutes here = no rushing tomorrow.
6. Bath Time
Bath time is slow and playful in our house:
- Warm water
- Toys
- Zero rushing
- Everyone involved
It’s a sensory downshift that gets all of us into calm mode.
7. Connection Time
This is the heart of our night and the part we try to never skip:
- Prayer
- Scripture reading
- Talking about our day
- Reading a bedtime story in low lighting
It’s short, simple, and grounding — the emotional anchor we all need.
8. Nursing
I nurse and bounce the baby to sleep.
Some nights it’s quick, some nights it’s not — but it’s part of our rhythm and one of my favorite quiet moments.
9. Mommy and Daddy Time
Once everyone is down, we take a little time for us:
- Talk
- Watch a show
- Sit together
- Reset the house if we need to
- Just be adults for a minute
It doesn’t have to be long, but it’s important.
The Morning Routine: Setting the Tone for the Entire Day
Why Mornings Fall Apart (and How to Fix It)
I’ll speak from the perspective of a stay at home mom with a toddler. So we have no school or work, just a clean slate ahead of us each day. But all these antidotes and routine outlines work for homeschool, if you have older kids, or workout outside of the home.
After a night of sleeplessness or a rude awakening to a tantrum mornings can be…. unwelcome. Unfortunately, we can’t opt out of them and just stay in bed. We can however set up a routine that set the right tone for the day, brings peace and gives us the best chance of having a great day no matter how the late or early hours are going.
A 5-Step Morning Routine That Actually Works
1. Slow Wake + Reset
Take a few minutes to wake up gently. Open the blinds, stretch, drink water, and give yourself a second to settle in before jumping into the day. This tiny pause sets the tone for everything else.
2. Nourishing Breakfast (Not Complicated)
Keep breakfast predictable and on-rotation so you’re not thinking first thing in the morning.
Think: gluten-free toast + eggs, overnight oats, yogurt bowls, or a simple smoothie.
The goal isn’t fancy—it’s feeding everyone well without chaos.
3. Move Your Body (5–10 Minutes Counts)
Movement doesn’t have to mean a full workout.
Take a short walk, do a quick stretch, follow a mini YouTube routine, or run around with the kids.
Just a little movement wakes up your brain and makes the rest of the morning flow smoother.
4. Get Ready Block
A defined “get ready” block keeps everyone on track.
This is the time to:
- get dressed
- brush teeth
- pack bags
- prep anything needed for the day Having a single block instead of a scattered process reduces the back-and-forth stress.
5. Clean-Up + Productivity Reset
Before leaving the house or starting work, do a tiny reset:
- load or unload the dishwasher
- pick up the living room
- switch a load of laundry
- wipe down counters
- glance at your day’s top 3 priorities This keeps your home from falling behind and gives you a sense of control going into the day.
My Real-Life Morning Rhythm
- Gentle wake-up consistency
- This might seem impossible if you’re waking up to a toddler, but I find that even if the wake up itself is abrupt, we can prolong it and make it more gentle. When my toddler kicks me in the face telling me to wake up, since we co sleep, we try to play in bed for as long as possible. If needed we transition to a cozy part of our room on the floor where we can both orient ourselves and play.
- Hydration + simple breakfast
- After a diaper change we head down for breakfast. We usually have a breakfast routine so I know what he is eating and we keep it simple and strive for something well balance for us both.
- Clean up and Nap time
- For us, we do a clean up, do the dishes and then head down for a nap where I work on my blog, Pinterest or other various business tasks. It helps me start my day out productive and feeling good while he stays with his routine.
- Get Ready Block
- We both get ready for the day. Getting dressed and doing something small to look and feel like a human goes a long ways for moms and kids alike.
- Movement and Play
- It’s time to go outside! We play and go on a walk. It’s important to me that we both get to move and get the exercise that we both need. I may get a quick workout in at home or we both get our exercise in by going for a long walk.
What Makes Family Routines Sustainable Instead of Stressful
It Has to Fit YOUR Family (Not Instagram)
Routines should be simple and most importantly realistic for your bandwidth, time and needs. It should fit your natural flow that you already have day to day. A routine just makes that flow repeatable and consistent day to day. It can be a routine for the whole day, the morning, a week, a month etc…
Family Routines Can Shift by Season
Of course, summer looks different than back to school, which looks different than winter etc… Routines are meant to work for you and not the other way around. They change and they should as your needs change, seasons change, times change. It’s not going to ruin your kids or you to have a small shift or need to create a new routine. The point is to have a soft calming anchor not a unbreakable contract.
Let Family Routines Be Flexible and Imperfect
There will be days you have to run errands or have emergency or even days where crap hits the fan. Your routine will get broken. Your routine might not be the most productive or you might have no energy to do the cleaning that day. Whatever it is, good. Skip that part, throw the routine out the window for that day. It’s meant to be flexible and imperfect, just like our families.
Habit Stacking — The Easiest Way to Build Family Routines That Stick
What Habit Stacking Is
Habit stacking is exactly what it sounds like. It’s where you stack your habits. It’s where you take something you do all of the time without having to think about it, a habit you already have. And you add a small habit right after doing your current habit. This method makes creating new habits for yourself and your children so much easier and it’s a proven tactic by psychologists.
How Habit Stacking Helps Busy Families
As a health and wellness coach I am a huge fan of habit stacking.
It helps people who have huge goals break them down into bite size realistic pieces that are going to change their life in small and simple ways. That’s exactly what busy families and parents need.
We do not have two hours or even sometimes 20 minutes extra in a day to try to plan out or implement some new family routines. We don’t have the extra time. But we do have things we do every day like getting dressed or brushing our teeth or making dinner that we can add New small Habits to.
This method removes the pressure of trying to take on large changes to your family routines.
A huge reason why people fail to achieve their goals or New Year’s resolutions is because they do not break them down in bite sized pieces. And have a stacking forces you to do that. If you’re adding a new habit to your family’s routine it helps your children keep the routine they already have while implementing something new and small.
Because you’re just adding something small onto a habit you have already perfected It makes creating habits feel almost automatic rather than forced. I think it is honestly the most simple way to make life changes.
Step 1 — Choose an Anchor Habit
I mentioned an anchor habit above but just to be clear an anchor habit is a habit that you already have that you’re super good at and you do consistently every day. This doesn’t have to be a special habit it can be the most mundane of tasks.
For example:
Eating breakfast, brushing your teeth , Eating an after school snack, bath time, making dinner, loading the dishwasher, putting your socks on, getting in your car to go to work, packing lunches
This habit should already be created and not take up any extra time to create it.
Step 2 — Add ONE Microscopic Habit
Habit stacking is great for adding something new into family routines you already have or slowly creating a brand new routine that you want.
When you’re trying to create new family routines you need to identify micro habits that you can have. This is essentially a very small task that you can add on or use to build from scratch and eventually achieve your ideal routine.
For example your goal may be to eat healthier. Some micro habits that you might have would be buying more vegetables, making a grocery list, meal planning.
You may have a goal to get your kids to school on time. Some micro habits for that maybe setting clothes out, making lunches the night before, or getting backpacks ready the night before.
Micro habits are essentially the small steps you take to eventually achieve your main goal.
Once you have those micro habits figured out you can choose one to add following your anchor habits.
This may look like:
- Breakfast → wipe counters/reset sink
- After school snack → backpack/paper sort
- Bath time → set out clothes
- After dinner → prep snacks
- Tooth brushing → quick gratitude moment
Then you just work to keep doing that small and simple thing after you’re already established habit and eventually it will become a habit, a part of your routine.
Step 3 — Keep It Easy + Repeatable
This method makes any change you want for your family yourself or even individual children possible . Maybe the micro habit you chose isn’t working out you keep forgetting to do it whatever it is. Don’t be afraid to have some trial and error. Use a different or a smaller micro habit. Try adding it on to a different anchor habit.
Our goal is to take small steps towards a good family routine, not huge bites at a time. The goal is repeatability not perfection.
A good rule of thumb is if it takes more than 5 minutes to do it’s too big for a habit stack. You need something more simple and less time for it to be successful.
Family-Friendly Habit Stack Examples
If you’re not sure where to start for your family routines. Here are some great ideas and habits to add to your daily routine to make your home more efficient and calm.
Morning Habit Stacks
- Breakfast → 3-minute kitchen tidy
- Morning bathroom → start a small load of laundry
- Getting dressed → return yesterday’s dirty clothes to hamper
- School drop off → emotional check in with kids
After School Habit Stacks
- Snack → backpack reset
- Shoe drop-off → coat + bag hook reset
- Bathroom break → wash hands + refill water bottle
- Homework → movement
Evening Habit Stacks
- Bath → set out clothes
- Dinner cleanup → prep kids’ lunches/snacks
- Watching a show → quick meal plan (link)
- Bedtime books → quick connection moment or “tomorrow check-in”
How Habit Stacking Builds a Full Routine Over Time
Once you have layered habit upon habit you’ll have a beautifully formed family routine full of healthy habits.
This method helps routines form naturally rather than a forced schedule. It also makes having a routine possible for even the busiest most chaotic family.
The Simple Habit Stack Formula
Here’s the formula you can copy to build your family routines:
“When we do ____, we always ____.”
Use it to layer in tiny habits that make your mornings smoother.
Fill-In Templates You Can Apply Today
“When we finish breakfast, we always __________.”
(Example: wipe the table, unload the dishwasher, pack lunches.)
“When we go upstairs to get dressed, we always __________.”
(Example: make beds, put pajamas in the hamper.)
“When we get shoes on, we always __________.”
(Example: grab water bottles, check the weather, do a quick tidy.)
“When we come back home from our walk, we always __________.”
(Example: reset the living room, start a load of laundry, set up for the day.)
Realistic Expectations
When you’re building new habits or routines, start small—truly small. A routine isn’t supposed to be perfect; it’s meant to be predictable enough that your family can actually follow it. Habit stacking works best when the “stack” feels effortless, not overwhelming.
Instead of trying to overhaul your whole morning, focus on one or two tiny shifts that make life easier. Over time, these small predictable moments create the Healthy Home Systems for Modern Families you’re working toward—simple rhythms that support your day instead of adding more pressure.
Progress over perfection. Predictability over hustle. That’s what builds a strong, sustainable routine.
Tips From a Mom Running a Home and a Business
Time Blocks You Actually Stick To
Being a stay at home mom and trying to start a business , it gets stressful. Times of my day where I try to never schedule anything and always have open for our routine is the morning time. It allows me to be productive and accomplish the most necessary tasks while making sure my son feels loved and cared for and I have time to play with him. I have a lot of priorities but my number one is caring for and making sure my son feels the utmost amount of love. Having an uncompromised morning routine helps me feel like I give that to him the most
Micro-Routines That Save Energy
Some micro routines that help me save energy are , after we eat breakfast and clean up before we take a nap I always throw in a load of laundry. After every meal I simply wipe down the counter because that’s something that’s really important to me. My kitchen can be a mess but if the counters are wiped down I feel good. I also try to maximize nap times. I have routines what I do during his first snap his second nap 3rd nap etc so I can meet all of my goals and stay focused.
What I Do When Routines Fall Apart
Just like you, crap hits the fan in my life. I strive to make it so my life is not dependent on my routines, but my routines contribute to my ability to be calm and maintain my home and business.
I try to keep that separation. One way I do that I am good at that is making good use of small moments on hard days. When I do that I can still maximize my productivity even if my max that day looks like my minimum on other days.
Your Next Step: Build One Simple Family Routine Today
You don’t need a total 180 to feel more calm or productive at home—just choose one small step to start with today.
Maybe it’s a breakfast rhythm, a quick clean-up block, or a new habit stack that makes mornings smoother. When you build these tiny predictable moments, you’re creating the Healthy Home Systems for your family that makes your days feel lighter and more doable.
If you want an easy place to start, check out my
• Allergy-Safe Holiday Hosting Kit (practical systems for having calmer holiday gatherings)
or
• Healthy Holiday Meal Planning Guide (simple, gluten-free, budget-friendly meal rhythms)
Both walk you through small, repeatable steps you can plug into your routine right away.
FAQ
1. What does a realistic family evening routine look like (not the Instagram version)?
A real evening routine is simple, predictable, and fits the natural flow of your home — not something curated for aesthetics. For most families, it starts right after dinner with a quick reset (clear the table, wipe counters, toss toys), then a basic kitchen closeout, a few “future you” prep steps, bath time as a sensory downshift, a short connection block, and then lights out. Nothing has to look perfect. The goal is calm predictability, not a Pinterest-ready night.
2. How do you start a routine when your evenings already feel chaotic?
Start with one anchor habit you already do every night — like dinner, bath, or bedtime books. Then add one tiny micro-habit right after it using the formula:
“When we do ____, we always ____.”
That one repeatable moment becomes the beginning of your family routine. Over time, you slowly add more small steps, and your evening stops feeling like pure survival mode.
3. How do you build a morning routine when everyone is tired and rushing?
Use a simple 5-step flow that removes the decision fatigue:
- Slow Wake + Reset
- Predictable, simple breakfast
- 5–10 minutes of movement
- Get Ready Block
- Quick clean-up + tiny productivity reset
This gives the morning structure without strict timing. Predictability — not perfection — is what makes the day start calmer.
4. What do you do when kids fight the bedtime routine every night?
Kids resist routines when they’re overstimulated or unsure what’s coming next. Keep bedtime predictable and soothing: dim lights, quieter voices, bath as a sensory downshift, then a short connection block (story, prayer, gratitude, or quiet talk). Even five minutes of connection meets the emotional need before sleep, which eases the pushback.
5. What’s the best way to keep routines going on overstimulated or unpredictable days?
Lower the bar — and soften the environment. On hard days, return to your smallest anchors: dinner reset, bath time, or bedtime story. Reduce stimulation (lights, noise, clutter) and stick to the few habits your kids are most familiar with. Routines should support your family, not stress you out. Flexibility is part of a Healthy Home System.
6. What should I start with if everything feels overwhelming?
Start with the routine that feels the most chaotic (usually mornings or evenings). Then pick one anchor habit and attach one tiny micro-habit to it using:
“When we do ____, we always ____.”
That one predictable moment creates momentum and becomes the first block of a real family routine. You don’t need a full overhaul — just one small step that you can repeat every day.
